Some shows like Gossip Girl and So You Think You Can Dance are jumping the shark.
SO MANY SHARKS BEING JUMPED!!! :(
Gossip Girl: You Can't Escape Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl is like Perez Hilton. That bitch is everywhere, and she just don’t quit.
What a great season finale!!! It was especially great compared to that crap-fest of last week’s flashback episode. Anyway, it was gratifying to see so much “resolved” within the hour – of course, only to have it unraveled again next season.
Stuff I loved:
LOVE – BLAIR LOOKED GREAT!!! LOVE!
Gorgeous! Perfect!
SO PRETTY!!!
SEXY.
LOVE – Blair naming Jenny “Queen”. Love.
*giggle* “Not enough!” *smile*
LOVE – Wrapping up the stupid Ponzi scheme subplot quickly with a brief phone call from Regina. No unnecessary bull crap. Love.
LOVE – Serena’s stupid ass and Carter Basin’s stupid ass together. Great! I love it. Keeps them quarantined from other human beings for awhile. LOVE.
LOVE – They bring back the Dan/Serena/Eric/Jenny half-bro plot line by finally freakin’ showing the guy. Love.
LOVE – CHUCK AND BLAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVELOVELOVE!Yaaaaaaay. SO romantic! Better than Disney. But still with white people. Yaaaay!
Stuff that was NOT OK!!!
Not OK – Serena wears JUST her graduation tassel in her hair because she’s soooo free-spirited? Not OK.Stupid hippie.
Not OK – Serena repurposing a Snuggie and/or Slanket as an excuse to show side boob. NOT OK.
Losing model in a Project Runway Slanket challenge.
Not OK – Lily and Rufus tokin’? Weird. Not O.K.
Not OK – Georgina coming back next season. AUGHGHGHGHGHGH!!! Nothing makes me angrier than seeing Michelle Trachtenburg’s name in the credits. Blood pressure rising. NOT OKAY!!!
Not OK – EVERYONE going to NYU?! NOOOOOT OK.
Closing Thoughts:
This season was definitely hit or miss, but the overall Gossip Girl essence was maintained: drama, fashion, humor, side boob. I’m glad that the show is continuing on, but is college gonna make it better (Gilmore Girls), mediocre (Beverly Hills, 90210), weirder (Boy Meets World) or completely fucking ridiculous (Saved By the Bell)?
All I can say is, I want the fashion to keep going, but you can’t possibly have me believe that these guys are gonna run from class to class in Lincoln Town Cars and stilettos…right? I mean, what NYU student always dresses up to go to class? OK, maybe Korean girls, but come on!!! Can we get Blair some pants?
Also, I am dreading this BS that they are gonna live in the dorms – especially with Regina there. WHERE will Blair put her clothes! At least have her and Serena share an outrageously large duplex in the West Village (after she somehow gets herself kicked out of Brown and transfers to NYU due to some shenanigans). I also can’t wait for how lame they’re going to make college parties look.
Well, what the future holds we won’t know for another 3 months, but for now, let us bask once again in the kiss heard around the world:AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! No matter WHAT happens, we’ll always have this moment! ALWAYS! This happened! 
Question of the week:
What do you look forward to next season?
Gossip Girl: Let's Stick to ONE Show
OK, so this week we had a terrible situation where the new flashback/door pilot, “Valley Girls” was as seamlessly integrated into the regular Gossip Girl as B&T crowds in Williamsburg. (You can shop at H&M, you can shop at Forever 21, but we draw the line at STRAWBERRY.)
And speaking of Williamsburg, I live near Hipsterville, USA and basically everyone I see looks like this:
An Olsen Twin and a quirky video artist with second hand boots. See your outfits next month at Beacon’s Closet!
It’s great.
So we had a super rad time watching the show Monday night, though! Christina was back in town. Amelia and I wore our Team Blair shirts, and EVERYONE wore headbands – including Tom and our friend Samantha’s 19 month old, Olivia, who squealed with delight anytime we had a group reaction to anything on the show This show is cross-generational.
Everyone was in agreement that Blair’s dress was GORGEOUS:
Pretty fantasy dress!
Let’s take a closer look:
Still pretty!!!!!!
Chuck was also very dapper (words of Tom) in his tux, which was a total throwback to the Dean Martin/Rat Pack days:
Pass this guy a Cuban.
Huge issue with Serena’s dress, which looks neither Jenny-designed nor fitting with the “let’s show off Blake’s new cans” theme. I’m not computing:
Low boob dress.
Some stuff that WAS awesome:
Good looks of Rufus + Techno savvy of Zack Morris = WUTWUT!
And “To the Impala!”? GREAT. Amazing. But that’s all you’re good for, “Valley Girls”. That and a montage of Brittany Snow (who can’t act) trying on as many camel toe-enabling outfits as she can. It’s like the opening sequence of the “Sabrina the Teenage Witch” movie. Or “Clueless”. Or the original “Valley Girl” movie. All movies that did it better – and when Melissa Joan Hart has you beat, it’s time to give up!
Unfortch, this trip to La La Land left SO MANY things unresolved:
-HELLO, Georgina/Poppy Lifton situation
-Rufus’ mangina
-Dan going to Yale? Maybe now’s the time to take that full scholarship to Smith.
-Not that we care, but Serena and Gabe
-Eric quota unfulfilled
-Need more Vitamin Water references
-CHUCK AND BLAIRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Let’s take one last look at Blair’s wonderfulness:
As iconic as any of Carrie’s dresses.
I can’t believe that the season is over, but I must say that although I <3 this show forever and ever, it so went downhill during the second half of the season. WTF?! Ughhh, new writers. There was that whole 2 month gap, and then THIS crap?! I can’t deal – let’s hope for a better season three.
After watching this episode, we played the GG “Never Have I Ever” Game, which Amelia brought over:
http://www.amazon.com/Imagination-Gossip-Girl-Board-Game/dp/B001DZN2II
Favorite Question: “Never have I ever drank on school property like that time Georgina sent a case of champagne to S.”
Let me tell you, it was great! And we weren’t even drunk…. Tom even joined the fun with us girls and invented his own acronym: OMGWAIGR (Oh my God, WHAT am I gonna roll?!). It takes a real man.
Who Wants To Download a Kirk Cameron Movie?!
This episode got off to a slooow start. It took about 20 minutes before I even started writing anything down, ugh. Nothing of importance ever happens when they play that “mischievous” pizzacato violin music….
If you look like this on Day Two, there’s no such thing as a “walk of shame”.
*
Favorite things about this episode:
“Faux-cialate”!
This kids solving crimes was SOOO “The Boxcar Children”!
The writers wants us to believe that Georgina is the same size as Blair! Not with those big bones….
What? They didn’t have Wii Fit in the woods?
*
“Are you a Carrie? I’m a Charlotte!” Hahaha.
I loved this confrontation between Chuck and Blair at the hotel bar. How does Leighton Meester get the tear-perfect take? Whatever, it ain’t over.
I was reminded to download Kirk Cameron movies, like this sci-fi fantasy drama set in Spain: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190524/
Worst things about this episode:
How come all these Dove Fresh “Real NYC Stories Revealed” feature girls who work in fashion? UGHHHH!
Lily is nuts, dude! Giving her man money behind his back, arresting her own daughter and wearing a prom up do in the daytime?!
Um, you crazy.
*
Poppy and Georgina were at Shi in Long Island City for the last scene! I think it’s great that GG shoots a LOT in LIC (including CommuniTea cafe in the past), but this one was super obvious. We know who to blame as mainstream America continues to think that Queens is like Eddie Murphy’s “Coming to America”.
Who has club bathroom lighting for their mug shot? Did Lily have them build a photo studio and hire Gilles Bensimon to take the picture too?!
Yes, please do put her the hell away!
*
Georgina flip flops. UGHHH, who is this pair of Havaianas?! If you’re gonna Stepford it out, don’t bait ‘n switch after one episode!
I’m excited to see the 80s flashbacks next week of Lily ROSE. However, I don’t know if the new series will really have legs. We’ll see!
Question of the Week:
How did Rufus fubar his proposal to Lily:
a) He didn’t bring matches.
b) It was during the middle of the day
c) Who eats ribs and scallops in the middle of the day?!
d) ______________________ (write your own)
GG Should Stay Away From Financial Intrigue
I loved the opening scene where Nate was trying to teach Blair how to get on the subway: “Please don’t ask this of me.” I love our little drama queen!
Love the coat, not so hot on the bag.
*
I was a little annoyed by a continuity issue though: they have totally shown Blair and Serena downtown before – and in fact, they’ve even shown them in Soho (which is where Nate and Blair were, although I think they were trying to portray the neighborhood as the East Village/NYU?). UGHH,
ANYWAY, why all the hating on Murray Hill? Nate TOTALLY looks like one of those collar up “bro” dudes in Murray/Curry Hill who walks around in their college letters. Though if he really wants to live equidistant between NYU/Columbia, that would be more like Koreatown, my friend.
Dude, dude, dude. Bro. Yeah bro, let’s grab some brews after the Zog game. Let’s go to Ginger Man, dude! Dude!!! Bro! Braaaaa?
*
I’ve really had enough of this do-gooder tobacco baron! EWWW. He’s the only person who mumbles more than Serena. “Serena didn’t steal me. She swept me away.” Because she’s so exquisite? Ugh, God. Also, this guy’s hotel room looks like the lounge of a MePa ladies’ room. I hate this storyline, and I REALLY didn’t have the patience to hear about all that crap about Butter…which, BY THE WAY, is right near NYU.
Whatever, it’s time for a picture of Blair:
GORGEOUS, are you kidding me?! I love this girl.
*
BTW, Dorota’s a Mets fan?! Awesome!!!
Also, did anyone else catch the Dove “Real NYC Stories Revealed”? This week they had Chrissie Miller aka Jenny Humphrey +20 years.
This episode annoyed me on many levels – I thought the Blair-Nate-Chuck thing was so tired. PLUS, I don’t want any further Georgina nonsense. She was HILARIOUS as a brain washed Salvation Army camp counselor. On Serena: “I have so much love in my heart for that girl.” Awesome! Scientology is working out for you! Just leave her in the damn woods, Chuck!
Just leave her to Popsicle sticks and pipe cleaner crafts, Chuck. Just because you are dressed like P. Diddy’s manservant doesn’t mean you can’t travel alone!
*
Now let’s turn to the middle class honkies on this show:
First of all, thank god they added a little more volume to Jenny’s hair!
Second, YES to Rufus selling the Lincoln Hawk catalog!!! “Every time you walk away or run away, You take a piece of me with you there….” Hallmark singing card! Bam! Right there! Or maybe a a cell phone commercial? Nike walking/running shoes? I don’t know, the possibilities are endless.
License that shit, make tons of money like Moby, and then your kids won’t have to “chip in” to buy an ugly ass engagement ring for their dad’s girlfriend. Because WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT RING?! It looked like some SkyMall catalog recreation of a LOTR ring – hideo! Lily does not wear things that look like they are from the craft fair at Union Square – even if it is “vintage”!!!
And finally, someone on this show has a BEER!!! Leave it to Vanessa to have manlier tastes than any of the “men” on this show. However, I have to say that it looked a little wack how she was tamely sipping on one bottle with the rest of the six pack neatly displayed on the table. Set dressers: if you are seriously upset, you don’t even bother to take it out of the bag…right?! People, am I right?!
Unforch, I think that GG has been a little derailed. First of all, it seems like Blair likes NEITHER Nate nor Chuck, so can we just move on and focus on getting her some other love interests? Do we really want to go down this plot line about a bunch of high schoolers getting involved in some Ponzi scheme? Not really looking forward to next week’s episode.
And I’m ESPECIALLY not looking forward to next season, where I’m sure we’ll see these kids living “on their own” in massive, decked out apartments in trendy neighborhoods. Also, I like the taboo-ness of watching HIGH SCHOOLERS sleep around with each other. Watching college students in post-coital conversation is like watching pigs eat slop – who cares?!
So anyway guys, what’s MOB? Vote:
a) Most Official Bitch
b) Mail-order Bride
c) Money Over Bitches/Member Of Bloods
d) ________________________ (write your own)
GG Note: I Love These People As If They Were My Own Dolls That I Sometimes Play With When I'm Feeling Alone
As every modern writer (aka blogger) knows, there will be in a moment in your life when you accidentally closed your browser/shut down your computer without saving draft.
Yeah, you get it.
So, I don’t have my original blow-by-blow, but how about a few highlights?
……….
OVERALL
This episode rocked. My. Fucking. World. I thought it was hilarious, and one of the better-paced episodes (although I do appreciate a good simmering poignant moment here and there). Reasons for the success: reducing Rufus/Lily to the comic relief buffoons they SHOULD be, no more Nate-Vanessa nonsense, and hello – CYRUS IS BACK (cue Jock Jams IV)!
Also, Lady + Lady = Special Tinglies^n
Fancy schoolgirls getting cozy makes me feel like a 50-year-old civil engineer reading Blender magazine on Sunday night with a glass of cabernet because I’m “interested in music” and too scared to buy that “Big Butt Magazine” that I always see at subway newsstands.
……….
MUSIC
Speaking of life pumping beats, the soundtrack on this epi was kickin, too! I loved the Verve Remixed vibe of the cocktail party, following around our gal Blair with “Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby?” and “Whatever Lola Wants (Lola Gets).”
On the flip side, I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate that Flo Rida crap, but it was a cute little way to underscore the “Hey, these ociety events are going to crap in a funny way!” portion of the story. Take THAT, Flo Rida – your shit is cute! Like Peeps. And my boyfriend’s white ass.
PS <3 the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs song.
……….
SERENA
I love that we are continuing this NCR paper cycle of:
“I am so ‘wild’ and ‘crazy’, but then I find this guy I have a ‘CRAZY’ connection with, but then I realize that maybe I’m really not that ‘crazy’ after all, because he wants to be in this open relationship, and I just don’t think I’m ready for that. Right…? I mean, oh GOD…maybe I’m just being too unadventurous and…immature! I mean, I just want to like, LIVE, you know? I just want to explore. I just want to be a free spirit like…like…oh my God…oh my GOD…like…like MOM?!
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS COME BACK TO YOU, MOM??? I HATE you! I am so SICK and TIRED of you being a nymphomaniac who was a subpar role model for me, Serena, who is SICK and TIRED of always trying to be perfect, and always trying to be what everyone ELSE wants me to be because I have no idea who I am, so how can I be who I AM?!?! I guess….? Ugh, I have to talk to Blair, but her problems are more earth shattering than mine this week. UGHHH. Eric????????????”
……….
THINGS I HATE
Corporal Ugly McTotallyDon’tLookLikeMyNameShouldBeGabrielQuestionMark? That dude is like a future Madoff on the sleaze scale. Why do they continue to find these uncharismatic Barneys for Serena? This guy is the rolled oat to Aaron Rose’s granola. BOOOOOO. Refund!!! Refund, please! Can you please credit that back to my card? OK, thanks.
Oh…REGINA is coming back? PUKE.
Everyone was always going to end up at a college in the city. Now we just know how it’s going to FUCKING play out. Blair, go to NYU. Nate, go to Columbia. Serena, go to FIT. Dan, go to Barnard.
Jenny + Chuck = Weird Moment. CW, DO NOT tell adolescent girls that it’s ok to date their almost-rapist because said almost-rapist has “changed”, and that’s what guys will do for you if you are pretty and thin enough.
GG Remains of the J: Seriously, Nate is so Gay….
Recap of Gossip Girl episode Remains of the J on March 30, 2009
GG: Welcome to the Next 30 Years of…Touch Football?!?!
gossip girl grandfather episode, recap with full list of lily’s lovers
GG IS BAAAAAAACK: All the World's a Stage, and All the UES is Merely Playas!!!!
gossip girl age of dissonance
Gossip Girl: Eyes Wide SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!
First things first: Ultimate Gossip Girl Summit tickets are on sale!!!
https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/34294
Buy them ASAP – they’ve sold out in less then two days before!!! Now onto this week’s episode:
Blair looks so pretty in the park – her hair is PERFECT! And I loved how Dorota totally put “Mizz Blair” in her place during community service.