So I’ve been writing about AI for TV Grapevine since the start of the season, following wannabe singers’ Bambi-like efforts towards becoming a huge pop superstar.  Though I love doing recaps, it was WAY too hard considering that I was out performing most nights and unable to watch the show until the next morning.  With TV and the Internet and all this “new media” mumbo jumbo, you gotta be on it!

Anyway, I’m happy to say that I am now going to be doing straight editorial on the previous week’s action + doing a look ahead/prediction/forecast!  I’m really excited because I get to just write about what I want now, and give you opinionopinionopinion!

Here was my last recap of last week’s Michael Jackson-themed performances:  Top 13 Recap

Here is an excerpt and link to my first editorial/look ahead piece about the upcoming Grand Ole Opry week:  Jen’s Idol Dish

Last week’s Michael Jackson theme on American Idol could have been a total disaster, but these are the strongest Top 12/13 Finalists Anerican Idol has ever had, and they put on a really solid show.  Let’s relive some of the highlights from last week!

Top 3 Performances:
3.  Danny Gokey
2.  Matt Giraud
1.  Alexis Grace

Top 3 Inadvertent Show Stealers:
3.  The Matrix screensaver used during Anoop’s performance.
2.  Danny’s “Groomsman-Gone-Wild” dance moves.
1.  Megan’s MILF mom – HOLY HOTNESS!!!

Top 3 FUBARs:
3.  Anoop’s unfortunate collar-up situation.
2.  Lambert giggling throughout his song – a song with racial themes!!!  Dude, I know being serious is not your thing, but if there were anytime to take it down a notch, this would definitely be it.
1.  Kelly Clarkson’s hot mess-ness!  Dry hair, a Bar Mitzvah mom outfit and not getting into her performance until about 45 seconds in?!  Looks like somebody could use a little “Focus” Vitamin Water!

Thanks to everyone for reading the recaps!  The editorials will now be coming out on Sundays, and are part of TV Grapevine’s newsletter, which links you up to reviews and recaps on a shit ton of reality shows, etc.

I didn’t realize that I hadn’t posted all the craaaziness of last week!  My OCD tells me to make sure that everything is squared away before we hit “the big stage” aka the Top 12 Finalist stuff!!!

Group Three Performance – Finally, A Show!

Group Three Results

WILD CARD SHOW!

Can you dig?!?!?!?!?!  It’s the big stage, ya’ll!  Instruments will be involved.  Watch out for Scott and Matt to bring it on the keys!

Lackluster Round Two After last night’s American Idol performances (ranging from lackluster to mediocre), who can we predict who’s going through? We know Allison Iraheta’s great, and Adam Lambert is probably a shoe-in even though I personally don’t dig him at all.This season of Fox’ American Idol still has a ways to go to round out the talent. Let’s see what happens, shall we?

First there are montages of how the contestants got to the semi-finals.. Blablabla – we know!!!

Then we go into the group number, which is is “Closer” by Ne-Yo. This is a MUCH better choice than last week’s Jason Mraz-turbation.. Nick/Norman is toned down, Jeanine’s short shorts bring much unneeded tranny-ness, and Mishavonna looks even stiffer than last night. I am so glad there’s only one of these semi-final group performances left – watching a bunch of grown people grapevining across a mini-stage is cringeworthy.

Ryan is wearing a black polo shirt and jeans.  Why he’s dressed like a computer programmer running errands on the weekend, I have no idea.  It’s also bizarre to see him wearing short sleeves in the dead of winter….

…Matt Giraud sings “Viva la Vida” by Coldplay…. He is singing a rock anthem as a Justin Timberlake song.  EWWWW.  Why?  It’s effing bad.  I’m severely disappointed because I pointed him out as one of the ones I was looking forward to last week.  Oooooops.

…Next we have a girl [Jeanine Vailes] who hasn’t been shown much throughout the season.  Who is this chick?!   She looks like a man who had surgery to look like Leona Lewis.

…Good God, Norman Gentle sings Dream Girls AGAIN and is wearing his sparkly shirt/khaki shorts/sneakers/sweatband outfit with a white tuxedo jacket.  They cut to his parents, and his dad looks like he wants to hang himself.

…Kris Allen is a guy who should never wear anything collar up….  He looks like David Archulet’s untalented older brother.  The only thing worse than his hesitant performance are his Kids Incorporated dance moves.

…Next is Megan Corkrey.  She’s one of my favorites and the judges’ favorites, and I just hope she doesn’t disappoint….  It’s like watching a puppy compete on Fear Factor.  You love the puppy and you root for it, but it just shouldn’t be there!!! 

…Adam Lambert sings “Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones.  He is brooding and sexing it up for the camera so much I want to throw up.  I wish he would:  a) stop singing like he’s in a musical b) dancing like he’s in a music c) trying to look like a rock star d) moisturize.  By the end he’s singing higher than any girl has sung in the competition (but on-key, so it’s ok), and there is an appropo rainbow video screen flashing behind him.

Yeah…I’m not really rooting for anyone here.  Allison Iraheta was the only one who brought it.  And I love Megan and Matt, but they just didn’t do it for me at this stage in the game!  Plus, I feel there were definitely more deserving people in Group One (Anoop!  Anoop! Anoop!) who deserve a spot over whatever the top 3 shakes out to be from this subpar group.

Now that the American Idol producers and judges have put the soup through the strainer, so to speak, it’s America’s turn to vote!!!

This year, the 36 semi-finalists have been divided into 3 groups of 12, and only 3 singers from each group will move on.  Then, we’ll have the return of the “wild card” where the judges pick 3 more people to round out the Top 12.

This system moves the whole thing along faster, and we don’t have to watch singers who obviously don’t belong there week after week.  However, I still like the old format better!!!  I thought that splitting it up between boys and girls was more fair – and plus, eliminating two people (instead of like, 9) allowed us to get to know the contestants before they hit the finals.  Anyway, whatever…we have to live with it.

The judges look great in the studio setting – much more comfortable than in conference rooms or a mansion where they don’t live!!!

The contestants are going to the huge “Judges‘ Mansion” (a so-classy it’s tacky joint with ducks in the pond, paintings of cherubs and topiaries), where “final judgment” will take place.  Seacrest explains that they will walk through the holding room to the garden into a Versailles-looking room, adding to the tension and drama of choosing the 36 semi-finalists who will perform for America’s votes.

Once they get to the judgment room, the four judges will be waiting for them in red throne-like chairs, letting them know their fate.  This year, we also have a new twist:  sing offs between singers who are on the border of making it.

It’s the last episode before the 36 Semi-Finalists are announced! There are 72 contestants left after Group Day, and the judges are now standing over Polaroids of the contestants, trying to decide how to further split the group into four rooms.

We go back in time to see how the contestants arrived in their respective rooms. This round of auditions is also the first time that contestants will be allowed to perform with instruments. (Note: The episode jumped all over the place, so I’m going to write this recap based on each room rather than chronologically.)

ROOM ONE
Adam Lambert is told that he’s still too musical theatre – even though he’s wearing eyeliner (and foundation?!).  He tells the judges that he wants to be in this competition so that he can reinterpret familiar songs in new ways.  He stays true to his word by singing Cher’s “I Believe” as a ballad.  It goes over well, but I personally thought it was a little creepy (David Cook “Always Be My Baby” creepy).

Here’s the update on the infamous “Group Round” during American Idol Hollywood Week!  Check this recap of all the drama.  Excerpt here:

American Idol
Hollywood Weaklings Part II

40 people were cut in Round One of American Idol Hollywood Week.  When it’s announced that the contestants will be forming their own groups, a lot of people immediately team up with their buddies.  However, it’s just like high school, where a few people are shut out and “picked last”.  Meghan Corkrey, the pretty mom with a really cool voice, approaches a few of girls about joining their group.  They are kind of taken aback, but say “yes” while their eyes say “no”.  It’s totally awkward, but she joins the group anyway.

Read the full recap here.

The Hollywood auditions take place at the Kodak Theatre, the site of AI finales and the Academy Awards.  This year, the contestants also take part in a new AI “Bootcamp”, where they learn how to put on make up and work with vocal coaches.

Barry Manilow comes in and gives them a speech on the first day, telling them that being a star means preparation plus opportunity – and AI is their opportunity.

Pretty soon, the group is split in two – half the group is singing on Day 1 and the other half is out sightseeing.  This year when you are eliminated, you are sent home right away (did they keep them in a cage in the past?).  Although AI is not about going on vacation, the people who get eliminated on Day 2 at least have the memory of a fun-filled day in LA with fellow starry-eyed strangers, while the people eliminated on Day 1 just got a humiliating moment in front of America.

So anyway, this is the round where the mic gets passed down the line and sing whatever they want for about 30 seconds.  After everyone’s gone, the contestants are then told to step forward or step back, splitting up into two lines:  the ones who made it and the ones who are going the heck home!

Read the entire recap on TV Grapevine.  Crying!  Singing!  It’s amazing!!!

Tonight on American Idol was our last night on “The Road to Hollywood”, with auditions from two cities:  New York, NY and San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Outfits are disappointing tonight.  In New York, Paula is wearing a sheer black geometric print halter and Kara is wearing a dark leopard print tank top.  It’s a little better in Puerto Rico, where Paula has on a red strapless dress with massive pieces of gold jewelry and Kara is wearing a low cowl neck purple tank top. Anyway, let’s get to the auditions:NY:  Keep Your Day Job
Most auditioners are unemployed; however, Adeola Adegoke was so confident about her future on American Idol that she turned in a letter of resignation to her job on the way over to the auditions.   Unfortunately, it wasn’t worth the risk because she sings TERRIBLY (specifically, she’s sings a song from “Dream Girls” TERRIBLY).  After the audition, Ryan Seacrest calls up Ade’s former boss.  Simon gets on the phone and asks for Ade’s job back as a bank teller.  What a guy!  Ade doesn’t get to go to Hollywood, but she does get her job back.

To read the entire recap of auditions in New York and Puerto Rico, check out my piece for TV Grapevine.  See you in Hollywood!