I miss Tom so much (all the time, actually)!
6:11 am, 29th Dec 2008
Tom and I are spending our Christmases and New Years apart! He’s in Germany with his family and I’m in California with mine. We’ve only spent one Christmas together (last year at his parent’s on Staten Island) and have never spent a New Year’s Eve together in three years (twice I was in California and once he had a stomach virus). We’ve never been apart for this long, and I miss him so much!!!
It seems like we’ve only just moved in together (in October) but being off at shows and rehearsals nearly every night of the week has put a serious damper on our together time. I’m still asleep when he wakes up, and he’s in bed when I get home. All he can do is kiss me on the head in the morning and all I can do is nuzzle my nose into his back until he gets annoyed at me in the middle of the night.
I’m superglad that I get booked so often – trust me, I am not complaining! But how much would my profession get in the way if I went on tour or *praise Jesus* was cast in something that was not shooting in NY – or that was, for that matter? Physically being so far away from each other now is actually, in a way, easier than when we are at home, where it seems like it should be a given that we get to spend time together. Sometimes I’ve only just seen him for 10 minutes before I have to get out the door to make it to a show. It’s so unfair!!! Sometimes I really don’t want to leave! It’s pathetic.
Of course, Tom could come with me – but I’m not a cruel girlfriend. At the end of the day, Tom is so tired from work that I don’t want to drag him along on a G-train ride to transfer to another train, make him sit next to me while I nervously go over my set in the back of a bar, clap robotically while mildly enjoying the other comics and watch me do 7 minutes – 4 minutes of which he has already seen countless times and probably has to feign spontaneous laughter for.
Even though I miss this boy that I live with all the time because I’m chasing a dream in the East Village, I know that this time apart is probably a relationship preserver. I do my own thing. He does his. We aren’t particularly clingy people, nor are we misanthropic hermits. But I was always a bit of a lone wolf, despite having a wide wide social circle.
Sitting alone typing now, spending hours in the college practice rooms on a Steinway, reading 5 books at a time during my agoraphobic adolescence – I was really training to be lonely as hell, a vampire or some sort of CSI-type person! Luckily, Tom is also happy to be by himself – his many pastimes include reading (the man got through Robert Moses’ biography, The Power Broker, for gosh sakes!), circuit board programming, cleaning and playing the Wii. And probably some other stuff that I don’t know about, but hopefully it’s nothing too gross or whatever.
We probably spend enough time apart that we don’t drive each other nuts, which probably makes us appreciate our time together more. And he’s also not the “jealous boyfriend” type who would get bothered by the fact that I am pretty much at bars every night drinking with a bunch of white dudes (even though I sometimes wish Tom was there to curb some of the shameless hitting-on of certain shameless guys).
However, it is still hard to know that I only have so much time to spend with someone I live with – someone that I know I can spend hours and hours and hours and hours with without getting bored or frustrated. I’m glad that I have that at the very least. It makes being at the mercy of strange audiences less lonely knowing that I have someone to accidentally wake up at 4 am when I trip over a pile of clothes near the bed because I already took my contacts out.
Tom and I are spending our Christmases and New Years apart! He’s in Germany with his family and I’m in California with mine. We’ve only spent one Christmas together (last year at his parent’s on Staten Island) and have never spent a New Year’s Eve together in three years (twice I was in California and once he had a stomach virus). We’ve never been apart for this long, and I miss him so much!!!
It seems like we’ve only just moved in together (in October) but being off at shows and rehearsals nearly every night of the week has put a serious damper on our together time. I’m still asleep when he wakes up, and he’s in bed when I get home. All he can do is kiss me on the head in the morning and all I can do is nuzzle my nose into his back until he gets annoyed at me in the middle of the night.
I’m superglad that I get booked so often – trust me, I am not complaining! But how much would my profession get in the way if I went on tour or *praise Jesus* was cast in something that was not shooting in NY – or that was, for that matter? Physically being so far away from each other now is actually, in a way, easier than when we are at home, where it seems like it should be a given that we get to spend time together. Sometimes I’ve only just seen him for 10 minutes before I have to get out the door to make it to a show. It’s so unfair!!! Sometimes I really don’t want to leave! It’s pathetic.
Of course, Tom could come with me – but I’m not a cruel girlfriend. At the end of the day, Tom is so tired from work that I don’t want to drag him along on a G-train ride to transfer to another train, make him sit next to me while I nervously go over my set in the back of a bar, clap robotically while mildly enjoying the other comics and watch me do 7 minutes – 4 minutes of which he has already seen countless times and probably has to feign spontaneous laughter for.
Even though I miss this boy that I live with all the time because I’m chasing a dream in the East Village, I know that this time apart is probably a relationship preserver. I do my own thing. He does his. We aren’t particularly clingy people, nor are we misanthropic hermits. But I was always a bit of a lone wolf, despite having a wide wide social circle.
Sitting alone typing now, spending hours in the college practice rooms on a Steinway, reading 5 books at a time during my agoraphobic adolescence – I was really training to be lonely as hell, a vampire or some sort of CSI-type person! Luckily, Tom is also happy to be by himself – his many pastimes include reading (the man got through Robert Moses’ biography, The Power Broker, for gosh sakes!), circuit board programming, cleaning and playing the Wii. And probably some other stuff that I don’t know about, but hopefully it’s nothing too gross or whatever.
We probably spend enough time apart that we don’t drive each other nuts, which probably makes us appreciate our time together more. And he’s also not the “jealous boyfriend” type who would get bothered by the fact that I am pretty much at bars every night drinking with a bunch of white dudes (even though I sometimes wish Tom was there to curb some of the shameless hitting-on of certain shameless guys).
However, it is still hard to know that I only have so much time to spend with someone I live with – someone that I know I can spend hours and hours and hours and hours with without getting bored or frustrated. I’m glad that I have that at the very least. It makes being at the mercy of strange audiences less lonely knowing that I have someone to accidentally wake up at 4 am when I trip over a pile of clothes near the bed because I already took my contacts out.
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